Friday, September 23, 2011

Tales From the Locker Room (And Other Stalk-Worthy Places)

Okay, so I really don’t stalk the locker room, but I do pick up on some interesting things in my classroom and in the hallways. I've bribed a few former students into doing my dirty lurking. And I have some classes willing to answer some questions (cause they LOVE me).

AND I thought I'd share my findings with YOU! (Aren't you so lucky?!)

Here’s the low down on all things teen (at least this month, in my school):

What they’re watching: Billy the Exterminator, Degrassi, The Big Bang Theory, That 70’s Show, Friends, Cupcake Wars (Food Network), Jersey Shore, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Royal Pains, Switched at Birth, Pretty Little Liars, Bad Girls Club, Sons of Anarchy, Top Gear, Pawn Stars, First 48, NCIS, Boondocks, Lizard Lick Towing, Martin, Sportscenter, SVU, Spongebob, World’s Dumbest, iCarly, Glee, Awkward

(Alison aside: Did anyone else catch Lizard Lick Towing?! My kids swear it’s the best show evah.)

What they’re listening to: Lil’ Wayne, Drake, Adele, Lady Antebellum, Hororcore, Guns N Roses, Ke$ha, Survivor, Trina, Tupac, ICP, A Day to Remember, Shanti, Mad Cobra, Cataracs, Nicki Minaj, Katy Perry, Ace Hood, Hed PE, Big and Rich, Garth Brooks, ACDC, J Cole, Luke Bryan, Workout, Kenye, Eric Church, Eminem, Santana, Dubstep, Beenie Man

Um…they listen to pretty much everything. Okay, maybe not classical. Or sixties. Or like, jazzy rhythm and blues. But their interests are pretty well-rounded.

What they look forward to on the weekends: So yeah—some of them are looking to party and drink, but here’s what else they had to say…

Xbox, exercising, blogging, weekend trips, SATURDAY MORNING CARTOONS, eating cereal all day, sleeping, clubbing, shopping, visiting family, PS3, beach

(Alison squee moment: I remember looking forward to Saturday morning cartoons!)

Movies they’re excited about seeing: Lion King 3D, Drive, Straw Dogs, Abduction, Apollo 18, Paranormal Activity 3, The Avengers, Money Ball, Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark, Dream House, Harold and Kumar, Bucky Larson, Transformers 3, Planet of the Apes.

One of our teen spies is also super excited about The Great Gatsby movie coming out next year. ME. TOO.

Hot topic on Facebook: all the recent changes.

Words of the month:

SWAG: apperance, style, or the way he or she presents themselves

(my kids say this all the time)

Dude, cool shoes. Swag.

That shirt is swag.

My kids like to make up words as much as I do. And then reel from the disappointment at discovering half the world is saying it too. Here’s one my students coined, and then I found on Urban Dictionary.

BIZNATCH: it is what it looks like. Urban Dictionary calls it “retard English” for well, you know. A female dog.

And according to one of my spies, bruh seems to get tossed around—A LOT.

(Alison caveat: While some of my teens do tend to say “like,” “dude,” and “bro” every fifth word, you don’t want to portray it THAT realistically in your own stories. More on that in a future post.)

What they’re sayin’:

Don’t hate, cause you ain't.

I’m about to go ham on _____________

I’d never heard this one (yes, I do live in a cave), but “to go ham” translates “to give 200%” or “to respond violently to someone who disrespects you.”

Seen while creepin’ some walls:

Dude, she has a bf.

So, soccer has a goalie, doesn’t mean you can’t score.

(Alison reveal: creatively borrowed this from a former student’s wall, then realized it went viral on the internet. Whatever. Still using it.)

Random convos heard here, there, and everywhere:

Teen Exhibit A (after inhaling a pound of sunflower seeds): Can I get water? My throat’s really dry.

Teen Exhibit B (A’s best friend): Does your personality need water because it’s really dry.

And after incorrectly solving a math problem:

Girl: You’re wrong.

Boy: Your face is wrong.

You need some ice for that burn?


I love my kids.

My kids talk junk to each other cause that’s how they roll. They don’t mean it. And if they did, they probably wouldn’t be sitting near each other, let alone talking to each other about a math problem. They make up names for each other and bicker lightly about petty crap, but they also know that they got the other’s back.

Signs of genuine affection. AND hilarious. Some days are pure entertainment.

And finally, stuff that’s going on, what they’re having issues with:

1) Promiscuity—in teen terms: skanky dress—mostly a female opinion, but I’m sure some guys feel that way too.

2) Facebook drama

PS—while this monthly feature will generally be light and fun, I want to make it meaningful. I’ve got a few “spies” and two classes who keep this old lady young and updated. And they tell me everything I ask them (sometimes it’s a little TMI). So, if you’ve got particular teen things you want to know for future Tales from the Locker Room, leave a comment. Or send it in an email. And as long as it’s something within the ethical realm of my teacherly self to ask, I will.

Have a great weekend!

Agent A—out.


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