Wednesday, November 14, 2012

In Which Alexandra Embarrasses Herself

I meant to write this great post about portal fantasy--how it's changed since Narnia and some really great books that have come out lately that are portal fantasy. But for whatever reason, my brain just doesn't want to concentrate on the reasons DAUGHTER OF SMOKE AND BONE is awesome (and there are SO many, so it really shouldn't be hard.)

So I'll violate what Undercover is supposed to be about and instead, I'll tell you about my first date. It wasn't as bad as some. Actually the problem is I only have two strong impressions from that date, and neither of them are positive.

I was sixteen, a sophomore in high school, and this guy (we'll call him Bill, no that's not his real name, not even close) invited me on a date after making my acquaintance at Battle of the Bands. (He came up to me at BatB after I played and offered to buy me soda.)

Anyway, after school on the day of the date, I was at my locker. And I really had to pee. But I'd barely put in my combination before Bill came up and asked if I was ready to go. Being sixteen, I was for whatever reason embarrassed to say I needed to use the restroom before we left, so I just didn't say anything.

That's impression number one. That I had to pee the entire duration of this date.

Impression two unfortunately happened less than five minutes later. We got into his car, and the second he turned it on, really awful thrash metal music starts blasting from the speakers. It's rock-concert ear-damaging loud. For the ten minute drive from the high school to the downtown area, Bill doesn't turn down the music, ask me if I like the music, ask me if I want the music turned down, or attempt to have a conversation with me. If you're wondering why I didn't ask him to turn the music down--trust me, there was no way even my loudest diaphragm-scream could have competed with the noise.

What did we do on the date? I have no freaking idea. I couldn't tell you a single thing.

(The sad thing is, I ended up dating this guy for most of high school--this guy who barely made an impression on me (but a huge one on my eardrums) for my first date. And I would like to say that the moral of this story is that if you like a girl, don't accost her eardrums with bad thrash metal music instead of endeavoring to talk to her, but clearly it's not. I probably just embarrassed myself and talked about pee on the internet for no good reason. Oh well! At least Jennifer Lawrence does it, too. Happy Wednesday!)


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