Friday, December 21, 2012

Happy Holidays!

Hi, everyone!

Well, no one expected it. Everyone, including myself, thought it was just ridiculous to think that the world would end today. But it did. My bad.

The Mayans sure put on a great show, though, didn't they? I know, I know, they didn't actually bring about the end, they just had it on iCal long before anyone else. But given how much grief they took from people who held them responsible, I think it was a total class move on their part to throw an End of the World Benefit Concert and get ABC to televise it. Ryan Seacrest is everywhere, amirite?

I was lucky enough to get a ticket (did you see the prices on StubHub? OUTRAGEOUS!!) and the show had a ton of highlights. Among them was hearing Elton John do a new version of Goodbye Norma Jean re-titled Goodbye All The Things and having the cast of Glee sing a medley of their most popular covers along with ALL the original artists. Some thought it was a long seven hours but I say, hey, it's the last time you're ever gonna see Mr. Schue and Barbara Streisand on the same stage.

And how about all the reunions, huh? Talking Heads, ABBA, Black Flag, R.E.M., Guns 'n Roses and every incarnation of Van Halen. Seeing Sammy Hagar and David Lee Roth hug it out toward the end made me get something in both eyes. And when Black Sabbath finally got on stage it kinda felt like an End of the World Concert is exactly what they'd been waiting for all along.

Probably the only thing that marred the show for me was when all the drunk, angry Aztecs showed up and started tearing up the place. In their defense, it's their Aztec Sun Stone we've been showing for the past year and calling it a Mayan Calendar. It's the end of the world, people. No one thought to do a little background research?

And how cool was it when Suzanne Collins came out to pick up her You Called It award? She looked so cute up there in crushed velvet while space-time ripped itself apart over her head. Better than any fireworks show, and I've been to Illuminations at Epcot, so I know what I'm talking about.
I wanted to stay until the bitter end but by the time the meek rushed the stage and started going on and on about some kind of inheritance, I was all, "give it up people!" and ran to my car in hopes of getting ahead of traffic. But, of course, traffic suuuuuuuucked and even when inter-dimensional beings poured out of the seams in the very fabric of existence and turned huge swaths of I-80 into molten lava, it STILL took me three hours to go ten miles. Ugh. Shoulda taken the toll road.

Still, it wasn't a bad apocalypse at all. Muuuuch better than when the world ended as predicted in 1918, 1941, 1988, 2000, 2001 and 2011.

As you think about all the things you never got a chance to do, be sure to write some of them down. Because as sure as the sun will rise tomorrow, I guarantee some nut will read his tea leaves or re-calculate the age of the Earth or see the signs of the Illuminati and predict another apocalypse, probably next year.

It can't hurt to look at the world as a system in a constant state of regeneration.

The world has ended.

What are you doing tomorrow?

The world ended for Copil in 1990 when they cancelled Cop Rock. You can see him thumb his nose at the end times on Twitter (@Copil).


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